Dealing with Omnivores as a vegan is tough. I’m not sure that the title is appropriate, but sometimes we feel that all we can do is “deal” with meat-eaters. I suppose I could have as easily named this article, “Interweaving Two Lifestyles in the Same Home,” ”Living in a Society of Omnivores,” ” Proper Vegan Etiquette,” or “Things Meat-Eaters Say.” Either way, I will cover these topics in the following post and get down to what causes the awkward barrier between our two very different lifestyles.
Going vegan (plant-based) is by far the healthiest change that you could ever make for yourself. It is firm bedrock from which a happy, healthy, plentiful, and sustainable life can be created. But, although it may seem like a completely peaceful way of life from the outside, once you become vegan, you may find yourself constantly defending your diet and newfound love for the planet. I want to say that this is completely normal, but I’m not completely sure of that. Instead, I’ll say that this has been my experience and may be yours too.
Things to remember after making the switch to plant-based:
We went plant-based for one of three reasons: for ourselves (health), for the planet (sustainability), or for the love of animals. Perhaps, you did it for all three at the same time. No matter what your reason, you probably didn’t make the switch for someone else. There are some rare occasions of people changing their meat-eating diet for a girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband. That motive is perfectly ok (in fact, I encourage it), but understand that it may cause hardship down the road; it could cause you to resent the person for whom you made the switch.
The bottom line
Nobody made us change our diet and we shouldn’t expect others to change with us. In fact, we can’t even expect for them to understand. Weren’t we once just as uninformed?
But just like anyone who feels that they’ve made the discovery of the century, we want to share it with all who we come into contact with. The problem is, not everyone wants to hear it. Actually, hardly a soul that still eats meat, eggs, milk, or cheese is going to let you finish two sentences before jumping in to defend their “top of the food chain” status – And it’s their right to do so.
5 Rules for Better Conversation:
These are my own personal rules for dealing with omnivores as a vegan and you can use them too. They are very simple, but have helped to keep me from overstepping my boundaries with others.
1. Check your motives before engaging in dialogue about plant-based nutrition
We are not better than anyone! If you have made the change to vegan for egotistic reasons, you have completely missed the point; we should be compassionate people, loving everyone and everything. If you find yourself feeling superior to omnivores, remember that you were once on a similar diet. Besides, we are all human and should be friendly to one another.
2. Keep in mind who you are talking to
Are they an omnivore, vegetarian, or vegan? Do you even know? I often find my foot in my mouth when talking to vegetarians. Remember that they still eat eggs and cheese. You should check their dietary stance before completely bashing the egg and dairy industry. If you’re not sure and don’t want to ask, then don’t mention your stance. Although I know that it’s awesome, there are an abundance of other things that we can discuss besides our plant-based lifestyle.
3. Don’t mention your diet unless someone else brings it up first
So many times we may think we hear our cue to jump into a debate with others. Refrain from mentioning your lifestyle change unless someone has a sincere desire to correct their own eating behaviors. If someone mentions that they are having achy joints, I tell them about how removing dairy and adding kale and other leafy greens has completely eliminated similar pain I had in my joints. If they take to it, great! If not, I don’t worry about it. I said what I needed to say and I leave the rest up to them.
4. Avoid negativity towards other people’s diets –
I’m not saying that you should agree that meat-based diets are healthy. And I’m certainly not asking you to promote them. What I’m saying is don’t get so upset with the meat and dairy industry that you take it out on the consumers. Honestly, the meat and dairy industries have some of the best marketing tactics that I’ve ever seen. Who didn’t believe at some point that they needed more protein in their diet? I did! I drank milk until it nearly put me under. Some vegans still believe this and I encourage you to read this article on the matter.
5. Don’t engage in every fight you’re invited to
This can be difficult when you find someone ripping on the lifestyle that you cherish. Don’t take it personally – it’s probably not even aimed at you. I see people defending their omnivore diet on a daily basis. And that’s exactly what it is – Defending. It is of human nature for people to defend their beliefs and we all do it.
Sometimes it’s better to just walk away from an argument, even if it’s online. We are not going to prove anything to anybody by putting them down in the heat of a dispute.I hope that these simple rules will help you to maintain healthy relationships between yourself and the ones you love as you trudge the road to nutritional independence.
We often think of a vegan diet as a peaceful way of life – and it should be! But we have to do our part to overcome the barriers that divide us from our meat-eating counterparts. The barrier is thin, and more and more people are figuring out that a whole-food plant-based diet is the way to go. Let’s not be the reason they return to a diet that involves animal suffering and the demise of our planet.
I am interested to know about your experiences – What have you encountered when talking to others about your plant-based diet? How did you get through it?
When I engage in these kind of conversations, I tend to keep the discussion centered around the reasoning for my choices. When someone mentions my diet, I'll tell them how much healthier I feel, or talk about the benefits I enjoy reaping from it (e.g. quote some fact about cancer/heart disease rates are massively reduced with a vegan diet). When people inquire further, I bring up the animal welfare issues, give examples, and talk about how those issues led to my lifestyle choice.
Note that I said "lifestyle"…being vegan isn't just what you eat. It's what you wear (no wool, leather, silk, etc), the activities you enjoy (no hunting/fishing/zoos/circuses) and the causes you support. I hate the word "diet"…it sounds so temporary!
The opposite approach is to talk about the other person's diet and why you disagree with it. I feel like this puts people on defense and they end up not hearing anything you say.
Long story short, if I keep the discussion focused on me, then the discussion stays engaging and informative while rarely getting confrontational.
-Josh
Great pointers Josh and I share the same feeling for the term "Diet." With the way people are going on and off of diets, it does seem temporary. And like you said, it goes way beyond what we eat.
This is great, Brandon, thanks! I'm going to be transitioning our family to a vegan diet at home, and I'm really worried about Thanksgiving with my family, and just having conversations with others in general. I'm not going to tell my kids they can't have Turkey at their grandparents' houses, but I'm really worried about the inevitable disappointment from family members when I no longer eat things that used to be family favorites. I'm going to focus on being vegan at home, where I do the shopping and cooking and I can make these positive changes without forcing them on others. But how do I handle it when I'm visiting family for days at a time around the holidays? Do I approach it as vegan at home, vegetarian with family as a compromise? It's going to be a journey… and I'm really nervous.
I'm so excited for you and your family Kelly! What you're doing is providing your family with the chance for a healthy future. It's hard to break away from family traditions; my family still expects me to eat their "famous" cheesball every Thanksgiving. It used to be one of my favorites, but now makes me cringe.
Earlier this year, I went to visit my dad in Phoenix, AZ. I went PREPARED. I loaded up my Vitamix blender, nutritional yeast, flax seeds, and anything else I didn't want to be searching for when I got out there. I also took fruit to eat on the plane ride. One of the first things I did when I got there, was hit up their local health food stores. Luckily, my family understood how important this was for me, but they still didn't know which restaurants were vegan-friendly. I made do at the restaurants we visited, but asked a lot of questions. I've found that waiters, chefs, and managers really try to make their menu work for any diet.
Check out this article I wrote about going on vacation as a vegan:
https://www.forkstofeet.com/2013/03/staying-vegan-on-vacation.html
I hope that helps. If you have any other questions, please let me know!
many of the meat/dairy industries out there are horrible and treat the animals poorly. I agree with that. However, traditionally raised organic meats are perfectly fine to consume. Just gotta do the research and find good brands or a good nearby farm. eating good quality meat/dairy in moderation is healthy and can be cruelty-free and still good for the environment.
perhaps it was just the EXCESS of meat/dairy/proteins that caused your health problems, and not just the meat/dairy in and of itself? i would think that if you simply cut back on all that animal protein, rather than cut it out entirely, your health would still improve. before, you were a meat/protein-extremist lol now you're the complete opposite 😛 perhaps a middle ground was all that was needed, not a complete 180! I used to be vegetarian for 4 years or so. I eat meat and some dairy now, but only organic, and not pounds of it. also, the health problems may be due to a lack of nutrients from veggies/fruits and the excess protein causing an acidic environment in the body – to which the answer isn't veganism, but rather, a more balanced diet (vegan isn't balanced, its quite extreme)
vegans and chicken/whey/egg white-inhaling bodybuilders are both just opposite ends of the same problem, i think.
I appreciate your comment Jessica. You're more than welcome to believe what you'd like. But I'm going to practice rule #5 on this one. Thanks!